Influencing with Words: Part 3
The third motivation trait for us to explore and understand is the Source program. This tells us where a person’s motivation and judgment comes from. For some, about 40%, it resides Internally, while for another 40% it resides Externally. Why is this important? Because, Source affects how decisions are made and how someone is, or isn’t, influenced by others.
Those who are Internally-sourced are typically self-motivated and receive orders or requests as information rather than as directives. They may ignore feedback if they do not feel that it is relevant or spot-on. Many are leaders because they are not timid in making decisions without other’s input and are seen as “go getters”. Others may see them as blinded or egotistical. If they lack confidence in themselves, they are hard to convince that they are better than they think they are. Trying to sell them on a belief or idea can be futile if it does not resonate with their value system or experience. When trying to give direction to someone Internally-sourced, you will want to speak to their values, understanding, experience, etc.
Another 40% of the population, those who are Externally-sourced, need feedback and direction from others in order to stay motivated. When they are given information, they may see it as an expectation or an order to follow. This group is easily influenced by others and will aim to please. They can be seen as great team players or as weak “brown-nosers”. Because they take into consideration the thoughts and beliefs of others, they tend to be more inclusive and considerate of others’ points of view. This can lead to more balanced and solid decisions. However, they may need to learn how to make their own decisions at the appropriate times.
Some questions you can use to determine someone’s Sources are:
· “How do you know you’ve done a good job?”
· “Where do you determine you’ve done a good job?”
· “Who do you involve when you make decisions?”
Influencing Language for both looks like:
· Internal – you’ll know, it’s up to you, you can decide
· External – it’s recommended, they will approve
When we take the time to understand and communicate in someone’s motivational language, we find ourselves more successful in encouraging them to action. So, the next time you are befuddled as to why someone did not deliver what you expected or you find yourself unable to influence them, try to better understand their language and what has meaning to them.